Dear Parents and Caregivers,
This information is a follow up to the communication we had last evening with you. Yesterday’s tragic and deeply traumatic events in Tumbler Ridge are understandably upsetting for adults and children alike. It is often hard to know how to reassure our children when we ourselves are striving to process and make sense of this violent incident and all those impacted by this tragedy.
Children may experience a wide range of emotions in response to what they hear or see and they will look to the adults in their lives to help them feel safe and understand the world around them. Over the coming days or weeks, we encourage families to remain attentive to any changes in their child’s behaviours that may indicate a need for additional support.
We are sharing below some strategies and resources to help guide conversations with children, with the understanding that responses will vary depending on age, development, and connection to this tragedy.
Limit exposure to news stories on traditional and social media channels
Consider how you access news and how that may impact children nearby. Young children may not know how to make sense of the news they are seeing and can quickly become overwhelmed. Encourage older children to rely on reputable news sources, and where possible limit their consumption and exposure to upsetting coverage.
It is important to have conversations, and model with your own behaviours, the additional traumatic impact for victims and families when upsetting images are re-circulated. We are respectfully suggesting that individuals do not watch, repost or share videos of the tragedy.
Acknowledge feelings
Our children and youth will look to us for cues on how to process this upsetting information. Acknowledging our own feelings gives children a model for how to express and process their strong emotions. It is normal to experience a range of emotions in response to such unsettling news.
Listen more than you speak
Listen to your child’s concerns before offering any explanations. Give them an opportunity to voice their fears and ask age-appropriate open-ended questions. These conversations will help you understand if your child is coming from a place of curiosity, concern or fear, and will help you gain a sense of what your child may need from adults to feel safe and supported.
Provide facts
Tell the truth but do it gently. Give your child facts as long as it is consistent with their stage of development - keep conversations age appropriate. Children need to know their concerns and questions are being taken seriously by the adults around them and that they can trust their adults to be truthful with them. If you don’t know the answer to a question, don’t be afraid to say so.
Importance of routine
Maintaining daily routines can provide a sense of stability and security for children and adults. It can also be important to give children permission to continue to find hope in their daily world.
Encourage empathy and compassion
Remind your child there may be others in their daily lives who may be impacted by this tragedy. Talk with your child about how we need to treat others with extra compassion and empathy during times like these. Tragedies and times of sadness and grief can serve as meaningful moments to teach compassion, which can help children feel empowered as they find additional ways to be kind and caring.
As school district staff, we recognize that our students may require additional support. We will continue to prioritize the mental health and well-being of our students. Be mindful of any changes in your child’s typical behaviours. If you feel your child needs additional support, please reach out to your school and/or access the community supports identified in the following resources.
Resources
· Canadian Mental Health Association
· ERASE
· Healthlinkbc: Helping Children with Grief